"Do you ever stage a house and think, ‘This is not going to help this dump sell’?

Let’s ask Justin: "Do you ever stage a house and think, ‘This is not going to help this dump sell’?

Absolutely, there are times when I walk into a house and think, “Wow, even staging might not save this one.” In fact, we recently staged a home where the challenges were pretty extreme. The living room was so tiny, and there wasn’t even a dedicated dining room, so we had to squeeze both a sofa and a dining table into the kitchen /living room / dining room. It was one of those houses where you’re left wondering if any layout would make sense.

And then, there was a bedroom with no windows, which is already tough to work with. But the real kicker? The staircase was so steep and narrow that none of the furniture could be carried down through it. We ended up hauling everything through the backyard just to get it into the lower level. When we first saw the place, it had been staged by someone else using blow-up beds on the floor. The listing had been sitting there for weeks without any bites.

The agent was initially hesitant to invest more in staging, but eventually, they agreed that although our approach was pricier, it was worth it. And honestly, even I had doubts about this one. But once we staged it properly and got the photos retaken, the house was back on the market and sold in less than 10 days. Sometimes, even the roughest properties can surprise you. I guess Spade and Archer really is that much better at what we do.

Dear Justin, How was Burning Man 2024?

I’ve always said there’s no better way to stage a home than to light it on fire—figuratively, of course—so I suppose it was only natural that at 50, I’d end up at Burning Man. I thought it’d be a midlife crisis remedy, like a margarita with more dust and less shame. But what I found there was… well, let me tell you.

Picture this: I’m hauling a vintage Airstream trailer across the desert, full of throw pillows and mid-century modern furniture because, clearly, I missed the memo on "radical self-reliance" and thought "radical style" was more important. Anyway, within an hour of setting up my Instagram-worthy camp, word spreads like wildfire. “The Home Stager is here,” they said. Suddenly, I’m not just Justin the Home Stager—I’m Justin the Desert Design Guru. People wanted me to stage their tents, their yurts, their... art cars. I staged a man’s bicycle. His bicycle! It was ridiculous, but what can I say? It’s a gift.

On the second day, I found myself standing in front of a nine-foot flaming cactus while wearing a headdress made entirely out of pool noodles. This was not on my 2024 bingo card. And that’s when it hit me: I was the celebrity of Black Rock City. I didn’t seek fame, but here I was, staging someone’s porta-potty in exchange for kombucha. And you know what? I crushed it.

Then came the odd requests. One woman asked me to design her space using only broken bike parts and feathers. Did I deliver? Obviously. Another group wanted their camp to look like an alien spaceship crash site—but with a "luxury minimalist" twist. It’s not like I hadn’t worked with clients that picky before. Honestly, it wasn’t even the weirdest week of my career.

By the end of the week, I was the talk of the playa. I gave TED-style talks on the benefits of having “flow” in your Burning Man camp. I posed for photos next to my masterpiece: a fully staged art installation titled "Mojave Mid-Century Madness." People came from across the desert to see my tent staging, calling it “transformative.” One guy even offered me his laser-cut metal dragon sculpture in exchange for a consultation back in San Francisco. You know, just another Tuesday in the desert.

As I left the playa, driving my Airstream out of the dust, I reflected on my newfound fame. Had I become the world's first desert home-staging icon? Absolutely. Was I going back next year? You better believe it. Only next time, I’m staging the entire event.

• Justin

PS. The above is a ficticious account of my burning man experience. If you want to hear the real account call me, its so much weirder than even this ridiculousness.

An Ode to Virtual Home Staging

Once upon a time, in the idyllic village of Lauralhearst there lived a woman named Eliza who owned a charming little cottage that had fallen out of favor with the local real estate market. With hope in her heart and dreams of a swift sale, Eliza turned to the wonders of virtual staging. She adorned her home with digital furnishings, airy rooms, and lush gardens, all presented in stunning 3D renderings. Yet, despite the dazzling virtual makeover, her charming cottage languished on the market, as though it were stuck in a digital purgatory where no real buyers ventured.

Undeterred, Eliza sought the help of the renowned home staging magicians, Spade and Archer, who were known throughout the kingdom for their uncanny ability to transform any dwelling into a sought-after masterpiece. Spade and Archer arrived with their magical toolkit, brimming with real furniture, vibrant artwork, and captivating decor. With a sprinkle of their staging wizardry, they turned Eliza’s cottage into a warm, inviting home that spoke directly to the hearts of prospective buyers. The transformation was so enchanting that within a single week, the once forlorn cottage was swept off the market and into the arms of a delighted new owner.

Inspired by the swift and magical success brought about by Spade and Archer, Eliza was moved to pen a whimsical poem celebrating her journey from virtual despair to real triumph. Her poem danced with words about the mystical powers of genuine staging, and how it turned her home’s fate around. So, as you read this charming poem, let it remind you of the enchantment that a touch of real magic can bring, turning even the most stagnant listings into beloved homes. Enjoy this fairy-tale introduction to Eliza’s poetic ode to the transformative power of professional staging.

"A Picture Falsely Hung"

In pixels, homes are dressed in guise,
A specter veiled by unseen lies—
Virtual walls, too bright, too bold,
Whisper promises left cold.

The buyer’s heart, it yearns to find,
A place where warmth and truth entwined,
But screens display what isn’t there,
A dream dissolved in empty air.

The seller, too, caught in the snare,
Believes the gloss of digital care,
Yet when the door swings wide at last,
The charm of fiction cannot last.

And agents, burdened by the screen,
Chase shadows where true homes have been,
Their hands once filled with textures real,
Now grasp at phantoms they can’t feel.

Oh, if these walls could speak anew,
They’d cry for rooms with skies in view,
Where couches rest and curtains sway,
In sunlight’s honest, tender play.

For pixels can’t a heartbeat make,
Or fill a room with love’s own ache,
So let the homes be staged with care,
In spaces real, not virtual air.

Where every chair, a welcome seat,
And every room, a life complete,
Let not the screens obscure the sight—
For truth is found in genuine light.

- Anonymous

How will interest rates affect Home Staging?

In today’s dynamic residential real estate market, with interest rates on the verge of decreasing after years of stability and hikes, the significance of presentation in selling a home cannot be overstated. Home staging has become an essential strategy for sellers and investors to maximize the appeal of a property. This approach involves carefully arranging furniture, decor, and design elements to showcase a home’s best features and create an inviting atmosphere for potential buyers. While some might see home staging as an added expense, it’s actually a savvy investment that can significantly boost the selling price, speed of sale, and overall profitability.

First Impressions in a Shifting Market

The saying "first impressions matter" is particularly relevant in real estate, where prospective buyers make quick judgments within moments of entering a property. Home staging leverages this by crafting a welcoming, aspirational environment that resonates emotionally with buyers. By carefully arranging furniture and decor, and making strategic design tweaks, staging helps buyers envision the property as their future home. This emotional connection can increase their perceived value of the property and their willingness to pay a premium.

Boosting Selling Price in a Competitive Market

One of the primary advantages of home staging is its potential to increase the final selling price. A well-staged home tends to attract more interest, leading to heightened demand and competition among buyers. This competition often results in multiple offers, driving up the sale price and allowing sellers to benefit from the increased interest. Research consistently shows that staged homes typically sell for a higher percentage of the asking price compared to unstaged homes. The upfront costs of staging are usually outweighed by the financial gains from a higher sale price.

Speeding Up Sales as Interest Rates Fall

As interest rates are poised to fall, buyers are likely to re-enter the market, increasing competition. Staging can significantly reduce the time a property spends on the market, attracting more potential buyers and expediting their decision-making. When buyers can easily imagine themselves living in a staged home, they’re more likely to make quick purchase decisions. Reducing time on the market also means lower holding costs, such as mortgage payments, property taxes, and maintenance, further enhancing the seller’s return on investment.

Enhancing Professional Image and Online Presence

In today’s digital-first world, a property’s online presentation is just as crucial as its physical appearance. Professional photos and virtual tours of a staged home create a powerful first impression for buyers browsing online listings. Effective staging ensures that the property looks its best in these visuals, encouraging buyers to schedule in-person visits. Consistency between online images and the actual staged property builds trust and credibility, leading to a smoother sales process.

Conclusion

As the real estate market adapts to shifting economic conditions, including the anticipated drop in interest rates, the advantages of home staging go beyond mere aesthetics. This strategic investment can command higher selling prices, shorten the time on the market, and increase overall profitability. By fostering an emotional connection between buyers and the property, staging enhances perceived value and helps a home stand out in a competitive market. In this evolving landscape, home staging remains a smart investment that delivers substantial returns both financially and in buyer engagement.

Tales of Disturbing Home Staging

Picture this: it's a sunny Sunday afternoon. I'm on the hunt for my dream home, armed with optimism, an eye for detail, and a cup of extra-strong coffee. Little did I know that I was about to walk into the twilight zone of home staging.

The house in question? A quaint little bungalow that, from the outside, screamed “Pinterest!” But the moment I stepped inside, I was greeted by what I can only describe as a scene from a low-budget horror flick. Welcome to the house of haunted décor, where style goes to die.

First, the living room. Ah, the heart of any home. In this case, it was more like the heart of darkness. The walls were painted in a shade I can only describe as “aggressive mauve,” a color that simultaneously offended my retinas and my sense of well-being. Plopped in the center of the room was a couch that looked like it had been lifted straight from grandma's attic – circa 1972. It had floral patterns that seemed to shift and move, probably plotting my demise. The pièce de résistance? A portrait of an old man above the fireplace, whose eyes seemed to follow you no matter where you stood. Just what every family home needs: a creepy uncle who’s always watching.

Next, I ventured into the kitchen, hoping for a reprieve. Instead, I was greeted by a collection of porcelain dolls lining the countertops. Yes, you read that right. Dolls. Everywhere. They were arranged in what I can only assume was a séance circle, their dead eyes reflecting my own horror. The table was set for tea – with the dolls, of course. I half-expected them to start discussing the housing market trends and debating mortgage rates.

The bathroom was an adventure in itself. Imagine a room entirely clad in carpet. Yes, carpeted walls, floors, and even the ceiling. It was like stepping into a giant plush toy, only less adorable and more terrifying. The toilet seat had a fuzzy cover, and there was a single, ominous rubber duck sitting on the edge of the tub. It was the kind of bathroom where you expect to be murdered by a shower curtain ghost.

Upstairs, the master bedroom was a vision of romantic horror. The bed was draped in a canopy of dusty, pink chiffon, giving it a look somewhere between “bridal suite” and “morgue.” A mannequin dressed in Victorian garb stood in the corner, holding a single wilted rose. I don’t know about you, but I’m not into sharing my bedroom with lifeless, flower-wielding strangers.

The final stop was the basement, which, of course, had to be accessed by a creaky, dimly lit staircase. Down there, I found an odd assortment of taxidermied animals arranged in lifelike poses. A raccoon was reading a book, a squirrel was mid-leap, and an owl seemed to be judging my life choices. It felt like a deranged Noah’s Ark diorama put together by someone who had never actually seen animals before.

As I fled the house, the real estate agent, bless her heart, asked me what I thought. I wanted to say, “Is this a joke? Are we on some hidden camera show?” But instead, I just nodded, smiled, and said, “It’s... unique.”

So, dear readers, if you ever feel bad about your home décor skills, just remember: somewhere out there, there’s a house with carpeted bathrooms, séance kitchens, and a living room straight out of a Scooby-Doo episode. And who knows? Maybe it’s your dream home – if your dream involves living in a perpetual state of amused terror.